Current mood:

touched

Anny
Last night was an interesting and unique experience. I went over to Rosey's place after dinner, as I often do.. and we had a fairly relaxed evening. After a time, Rosey was tired and went to bed. I wasn't tired and felt like staying for a while so I decided to have a cup of tea with Anny. That kind of went on for about 2 hours or so. It was a very good chance for me to sit down and just talk to her, without having to worry about anything else or concentrate on anything else.. Ann is a person who I feel I share a very special relationship with.. and this was a touching and sincere way to explore that. She obviously had no shortage of things to talk about, and we mainly talked about Ross and her. I don't like to be presumptuous, but I think it's good to talk about these emotional things, to let someone else know how you feel.. or just to have someone listen. Many times I'd talked to her in a similar way online, at length.. just meandering through the big questions, life, love, all that sort of thing. The connection was different and altogether more powerful and strange in person. One of the things that interests me so much about Ann is how I cannot for the life of me understand what kind of relationship I have with her. I love her, deeply, truly.. she is one of the most important people in my life and I feel she is totally unique. I don't have a romantic relationship with her, but I do enjoy being physically close to her, holding her. For almost the whole time we were talking we could just stare at each other.. I don't think I've ever met someone who just looks into you like that, unblinkingly.. it's strange. It seems almost ridiculous to call her my "friend" because it's something more meaningul than that, and if I say something like "she is like a sister to me" even that seems inadequate and inappropriate. I hate to say it but I am going to be extremely sad to see her go.. especially after last night. It was an affirmation to me of how wonderful a person she is, as I had always suspected from getting to know her online. I don't think anyone quite understands me in the way that she does merely because at the emotional, moral and personal core of both of us we have the same blueprints. If I say something that might otherwise need explanation she understands it perfectly.
I was incredibly reluctant to leave, especially (and I hope she doesn't mind me saying this) when she began to cry.. it was a beautiful, emotional experience. Thank you, Anny.